Quick Update...

We are moved into the house, but definitely NOT settled...please pray for peace & resolution as we have some unresolved issues that need to be addressed. All in God's time! We do not have internet at our house so I have to go somewhere to be able to check email, etc. so feel free to call if you want to chat, as it could be a week or more before I check email or blog comments. Here are a few picks from the last week:

JM seeing his b-day present from all his grandparents...is he excited or what?

This is hanging on the kids patio on the concrete wall right outside his bedroom window!

The night we moved in, the kids were up 'til 11pm arranging their rooms. Isabelle kept asking "Mom, are we really staying here tonight? Are we hear for good?" After I said "yes", she would say "I like hearing you say that!" It was really cute! Much to do, but the kids are adjusting well!

God's Love Part 4 His Hands & Feet

Have you ever wondered what it's like to see God's hands and feet in action...we have seen it and experienced it in HUGE ways in the last 2 weeks. Since our builder walked out on us, we have had 25 different people come to our home, some from 8 hrs. away (thanks Uncle Bob & Aunt Paulette), to help us get the interior finished. We are so grateful for each person who gave up their time to serve in our home. We have finished the interior as far as what we can do...the plumber, electrician, and cabinet guy have minor things to finish up...after which we'll be ready to think about moving in!! Still lots to do on the outside, but that can be done over time! We are so very tired this weekend, but so thankful for God's sustaining strength to get us through these last 2 weeks. Today, we are watching in snow...a blizzard they say. We'll see how much snow we end up with, 3-4 inches have already fallen. It is a very heavy, wet snow. The weather makes it very easy to simply sit and rest! We need it! (I'll post pics next week!)

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HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY JOHN MICHAEL!!!

On 3/16 our big boy turned 6! What a day he had...

a bagel & apple cider doughnut made breakfast a real treat!

Grandma covered the fridge with a pic from each of his b-days...what fun to look back at.
Blue Wii Remote from mom & dad!! SURPRISE!!!
Isabelle gave JM this Double Shooter Nerf Gun - she was so excited to give him this present. She wanted to give it to him as soon as he woke up on his b-day. Her joy & excitement was so fun to watch all day! She could hardly handle how slow he was opening the gift!

He requested homemade pizza for his b-day dinner...he also had his friend Sadie over to celebrate with him. She is the daughter of one of Kevin's childhood friends.

God's Love Part 3 - Times of Refreshing

"With my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalms 89:1b

For the last few days, this exact scripture has appeared in my personal reading times, an online devotional I receive, and a book I'm reading. I clearly heard God telling me that I need to use my mouth to speak forth His faithfulness in my life. (Even as I prepare to type the next sentence, I find myself stuck for words.)

Simply put, there has never been a time God has not been faithful to me. It is who He is. He is FAITHFUL! He knew me before I was even conceived and because of His faithfulness to me He chose my parents, where I would live, who I would marry, and what children He would entrust to my care. Is that not mindboggling to think about??? I'm speechless.

About 3 weeks ago, I was priveleged to attend a women's retreat with very dear friends. I knew in my heart when I was asked to attend that I was supposed to be there, but I also knew that it was not great timing with our house project in full swing. Regardless, Kevin & I both felt I was to sign up & attend. The retreat was entitled "Loving Well" a Beth Moore Retreat. I assumed that I would simply learn to love others better than I was currently attempting to do. But, I had NO idea what God had in store for me - His FAITHFUL LOVE!

Driving to the retreat with 3 sweet friends, the question was asked "What are your expectations for this weekend?" My heart quickened immediately - I didn't want to answer as the tears hovered so close to the surface. I didn't want them to know how tired, broken, and weary I was. I was trying very hard to "keep the face" on - you know what I mean! I had absolutely no expectations since I didn't even know exactly what the retreat was about. I just knew that I needed to "retreat" from my circumstances so that I could be refreshed. And I honestly didn't know how much I needed to be refreshed.

If you read these posts with any regularity, you know that we are building a house. What you don't know is that it hasn't been an easy process at all. We have had many difficulties. We have been cheated, slandered, and treated unfairly. The stress of building a house coupled with these challenges has proven to test my endurance, perseverance, and faith. Physically my body had hit a wall by the time I was driving to this retreat & I was slowly crumbling. I shared with several people "I want to crawl in a hole right now. I am tired of thinking, doing, & being. Come get me when it's all over." I felt like I did immediately following the break-in of our home (which was exactly one year ago today) numb, shocked, and in a fog.

So arriving at the retreat, I was ready to lay in my bed & simply rest! The retreat was about loving others well, but the reason God had brought me there came out very clearly in the first few sessions. Here are a few notes I took:

"I cannot love others well, unless I am receiving God's love well. I cannot love well, until I feel well loved. I have to be absolutely convinced that I am well loved by GOD!!! When God is showing His love to me, do I recognize it? Do I experience it in my spiritual gut? If God's love is getting into my heart, it would be getting out to others! God's love is not something I just feel, it is WHO GOD IS! God's love is perfect."



Then the part that hit me like a ton of bricks:

"To the degree that I battle insecurity and anxiety means that I am NOT letting God's love reach it's goal in my life! I am not mature in God's love (how God loves us) if I am wrought with anxiety or insecurity. It is unbelief in God, His love, and His power. Unbelief is rooted in Pride." OUCH!!!!


Finally:

"How challenged is God to love me? Does He look at me and say 'I love you, but you are not open to receive it in your heart.' I am to LET GO and sit in His lap, His lap of JOY because God rejoices over me, He sings over me with His love."

To say that the last 18 months of my life have been filled with insecurity and anxiety may be an understatement. I have faced many challenges that I didn't know I could make it through. Because of the "stress", I haven't given myself time to let go and be refreshed by the one person who loves me more than I can possibly imagine, God! He is so faithful to love me, yet I have been missing it!

My big "aha moment" came when I realized that God is always loving me, but I am not very good at receiving it. I have known my whole life that "God is love", but at this retreat, God saturated me with His love so deeply that I experienced it in my heart in a new way. It's easy to know in your head that God loves you, but you have to receive it in your heart. When you do - it changes your life! I learned alot about loving others at this retreat, but God wanted me to learn to STOP, LET GO, and LET HIM LOVE ON ME!!! What a special gift!

Do you need a time of refreshing with the Lord? Do you need to STOP, LET GO, and ALLOW HIM TO LOVE YOU?? Do it!! NOW! Don't go another day without letting Him love on you. Allow yourself to receive it. It is absolutely wonderful. As you allow Him to love you, you will find that you can love others as He calls you to! LOVE WELL! Be refreshed! ....

GOD IS LOVE!

House Update #2

Pink did NOT stay the color of our living room/kitchen...that was the tinited primer - whoever heard of such a thing! It is great stuff!!! Here are the pics from final colors while the paint was still drying."Sierra Redwood"
"Dormer Brown"
Our room - "Edamame"

Closet under the stairs "Dormer Brown"

Isabelle's Room - "Bamboo Shoot" (this doesn't do the color justice - it is SO pretty!)

John Michael's room - "Poolhouse"

House Updates

I must interrupt my God's love posts (I have 2 more!) with some much needed updates on our house. Things are moving along quickly now. Here are photos to show the progress.Kevin ready to paint, paint, paint!!
The stone is finished!
JM LOVES to vacuum! Such a great helper.

The finished fireplace . . . we love it!!
Isnt' this ceiling awesome!!!

The tile was laid today! YIPEE!! They'll be back monday to do the grout. I love it with our dark brown walls!
Yes . . . we have now painted the living room/kitchen pepto bismol pink!
the whole family gets in the act!

Sweet Isabelle wanted to help so bad. Unfortunately we all forgot she's allergic to latex & we were using latex paint - so LET THE ITCHING BEGIN. I couldn't get her home & in the shower fast enough!!! No more painting for her!

God's Love Part 2 - PRAISES

In Mid-January I posted a list of prayer requests . . . I want to post the updates and give God all the glory for what He has done! Here were the request:

1. Wisdom - God's words for His purposes
2. Safety as we travel & speak
3. Good weather - NO snow, ice, rain storms, etc.
4. Isabelle - boldness & courage to speak God's truth; protection from nightmares
5. Holy Spirit to prepare the hearts of all who will hear her message
6. God will move the hearts of those who hear into ACTION!!!
7. John Michael challenged & encouraged in his faith; to have dry nights
8. Kevin & I to focus on God's purposes & to be protected from distractions
9. House - completed on time; good communication with our contractors; NO RAIN!
10. Work - for burdensome paper work, details, & organization stuff to come together smoothly & quickly

Here are the answers:

1. Wisdom - God has abundantly poured out His words in every situation He has allowed us to
speak up for orphans! We are thankful!!

2 & 3. We have had both safety & good weather on all our different excursions to speak up for orphans! Praise God!!

4. Isabelle has shown more boldness and courage in speaking up as well as sharing her faith with others than I could have imagined. It has been a blessing to watch. She has not had any more nightmares!

5 & 6 Holy Spirit prepared hearts clearly sums up what we have seen. The responses to our story have been miraculous. There is no other way to describe it! Hearts have been moved, lives have been changed - THANK YOU FOR PRAYING!!!

7. JM has been challenged in his faith for sure. Two weeks ago, he prayed to have Jesus come and live in his heart. He was very excited about this. He has been asking a lot of questions about being baptized so we are prayerfully waiting on the Lord for His timing in this. (I have to say Isabelle was not as impressed or excited about this as she said, "mom, when he was 2 1/2 -3 yrs. old I asked him if he wanted Jesus to live in his heart and he said yes and prayed with me! He already did it once." Truth be told - she led him to the Lord at least 3 times that Kevin and I know about as we overheard & watched the whole thing - PRECIOUS! SO, his precious heart is definitely saved!) DRY NIGHTS - we are seeing improvement with a new alarm, but still not fully dry - continued prayers are appreciated!

8. Kevin & I have been deeply moved & God has been protecting us from distractions - for that we are grateful. The previous post and the next one I write will include more details of what God has been teaching us!

9. House - we hope to be moving in by March 28th - HALLELUJAH!!! Communication with the builder has been better, and the Lord has heard our prayers for better weather. A Feb. 24 winter storm (likened to Christmas eve storm here) never materialized - we were SO thankful!

10. Work - Kevin has been blessed to see the burdensome load at work diminish and he has been able to catch up and complete many things . . . so he is able to rest better! We are praying for continued warmer days & work to begin kicking in. It has been slow to get started with cold temps. around!!

Thank you so much for praying . . . We see God's continual love as we write out our requests & see them answered. He is for us! He is always working in our lives! It is amazing to witness!

God loves you . . . take time to thank Him for His great faithfulness to you today!

Here are some new house pics . . . we will be painting this weekend, so new ones to come by 1st of next week!

Here's our fireplace in process in the family room/kitchen area.

Master bedroom

Kids deck area . . . they are so pumped about this fun, screened in porch.

TV room in basement . . . the TV will be in the corner.

Stairs up from basement. . . .
Isabelle's bedroom & she is standing in the doorway to go out to the deck.

Attic area . . . LOTS of storage! We are so excited about this area!

Gods Love Part 1

For the last month, I have been deeply entrenched in some of the hardest emotions I have ever experienced. I have wanted to post so many different things, but when I sit down to write on the blog, weariness overcomes me and I cannot put words to my thoughts. That weariness has begun to break and God has been gently taking care of me. God has been showering me with His love. His love is something I've always known in my head, but a love that I have never experienced in my heart as I have in recent days.

So, these posts will be titled God's Love because I hope that after reading you will know God's love so much more deeply. I have so much I want to share so this post will have to have several parts. I pray that these words will not be mine, but God's heart for you. That you will be blessed.

I want to first share what God has impressed on my heart from our trip to World Mandate. I believe what we heard is a message that God wants you to know as well. . .

1. What do you do with pain or hard times in your life? Most of us RUN - we want to hide the pain, numb the pain, mask the pain by staying busy, eating, drinking, shopping, pretending, stuffing, (fill in your favorite way to run from pain). As a result, we are broken, burdened, and beat down - but we don't know why. We don't realize that to be honest about our hurts and pain will bring the greatest freedom we have ever known.
THE TRUTH:
God is at work in the pain! We MUST allow it, run to it, connect in it, and work with God for His resurrection is coming! We are hastening the coming of the Lord by jumping in with God where ever there is pain in our own life, someone else's life, or in this world. We don’t know why the pain may be there, but it doesn’t matter. We have to jump in with God and do His work! Go into the pain, a resurrection is on the other side! When the pain is on, the urgency is real! Where there is pain – God is on the move!
Ps 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
a. God hangs out with people in pain! It’s not about us, it’s always about others! We have to join Him where He is at and GO!
b. God wants to start a movement in your failures.
c. In the hardest places, breakthroughs happen.
d. Churches/people who get involved in Haiti (and other areas of pain) are going to see revival – God is on the move in Haiti. Revival is happening in the hardest, darkest places.
e. You will know God's love in a fresh way as you enter into the pain and allow Him to work, to heal, and to restore. GO FOR IT!!! Allow Him to LOVE YOU!!!!

2. Life is FULL OF CHAOS – we need to embrace it and roll with it. We cannot and should not try to make life neat & tidy – when we do we aren’t dependent on God. When we try to make life “neat”, we are in control and God has no room to move in us or among us. Everyday God wants to surprise us. Will you LET GO and LET GOD DO HIS THING???

THE TRUTH: GOD IS IN CONTROL
Ps 86 – this whole chapter shows us this truth – in the midst of all things good, chaotic, or painful - He is in control! (Read Ps 86 and then read the notes I have written below)

a. Call upon Him and He will answer . . . don’t call your best friend, your spouse, your therapist, your pastor, etc. CALL ON GOD!!!
b. Cry out to Him all day with DESPERATION. Do we know what it is to be desperate? Do we realize that without God showing up everyday we can’t make it. Are you desperate for God? Do you live with the realization that you NEED Him to be able to get through the day? Are you desperate for Him to show up in your family, your finances, your marriage, your children, your work, the salvation of those He has given you to influence, etc.? God wants to show up BIG. He wants to do miracles in you and through you. Will you allow Him to show up? We have to allow ourselves and others (including our children!!!) to go through hard times so they will learn how to be desperate for God. If we try to “fix” it or make it better, we are stealing away valuable training experiences that God wants them to be in.
c. God IS in control so, STOP seeing the giants and recognize who God is! Remember, there are no hopeless situations, just hopeless people. From scripture and your own story, remember all that God has done before and KNOW that He WILL do it again for you! God intervenes and gives us mercy in the hard, dark, places of our lives & in the world

3. OBEDIENCE BASED DISCIPLESHIP – very simply . . . READ THE BIBLE and DO what it SAYS!!! IMMEDIATELY – 48hr rule: if you don’t obey in 2 days, you’ll forget about it! This shows God how much you love Him and He in turn will bless your obedience.

As I began to apply these principles upon our return from World Mandate, God began to awaken my heart to His love. As I allowed myself to enter into my own hurt and the hurt of others around me, His love became more real. As I have LET GO, God has shown up in ways that I cannot even begin to write about - surprising us, overwhelming us, providing for us. I has been miraculous. As I have been obedient, I have seen His tender love in His amazing faithfulness to us.

Go deep with God. It is time. Don't stay stuck where you are. If you aren't growing, you are going backwards. He LOVES you. He longs to shower you with His love. Will you let Him?